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“If you want a date with a Spanish guy, you have to reject him, of course.” (cop and robber), as my suave friend Juanma Fernandez calls it, once it has been established that both parties are interested, it is the woman’s turn to do the chasing.
For Juanma, allowing the woman to pursue means avoiding her phone calls, talking about other women in her presence, and even going as far as to fib about one’s availability to solidify the second date.
The sororities and naïve tourists that prance through Firenze and Sevilla have left an often bitter taste balanced only by the sophistication of the global American business girl in the mouths of those young European males that seek but do not act, inhibited by the shame brought on by their brethren that prey in American-populated bars near the Duomo or Quartier Latin Starbucks.
The truth of the matter is, in my opinion, that it is no easier nor any more appropriate to meet the love of your life in a bar or club in Europe as it is finding him or her in a similar locale in the United States.
No sooner did Estebán and I make plans, then our plans were abruptly cancelled.
When he never called back, and when he failed to return my subsequent three phone calls, I knew I had lost the game before I even set foot on the field. ” my friend Miguel Sanchez later explained to me over tea.
Juanma squinted at me with his dark almond eyes and said, “Lorena, us Spaniards are very stubborn and like a good challenge. If you score a quality Spanish woman, you are set for life with her.” While I could perhaps fake busyness, I wasn’t altogether sure that I was capable of wearing a fake smile and listening to someone I liked drone on about another woman. “Each woman offers a new challenge, a new set of rules and at times, an entirely new ball game,” Juanma said.
Pleased with myself for having held out so long, I finally spilled my digits. Unknowingly, I committed my next Spanish courting blunder: I accepted.
As for me, marriage was the last thing on my mind: I was still trying to get a second date. Eight months after arriving in Spain, I finally found myself on a second date—with a beautiful man, on a beach, under a full moon.
After months of dabbling and learning through trial and error, I was slowly starting to come into my own, learning how to weigh cultural realities against my own values. The night was ripe for romance, by any cultural standards.
It is estimated that over 400,000 Spaniards found their ‘pareja’ in 2007 thanks to the internet.
Online dating in Spain usually attracts people between the ages of 30-45 who want something more serious than a random affair.